Memories are like going to a favorite place that makes you feel great the minute you arrive.
What makes remembrances of things past so comfortable is that you know what to expect.
There are no disappointments. There are no unexpected surprises to ruin the moment. There are no opportunities to be disappointed.
Relationships are made up of memories. The ties that bind you to another are built on shared experiences. Sometimes funny, sometimes sad, sometimes pleasant, they paint a colorful picture of time spent with another.
The downside with memories is that they can be so comforting that they distort reality. Love can be filled with landmines. This one is one of the most dangerous.
Recalling the past can mean distorting it as well. When looking back on a first love, one forgets the bad times. Time and romanticism can transform an average relationship into an ideal one. Things that were negative are often discarded. Slights, insults and bad times are removed. When you spend too much time recalling a previous love, you eventually will miss what the future has to offer.
Recalling past love too often and every new relationship is measured against the old one. The eye that looks back can see the entire world with “rose colored” glasses. Suddenly everything that happened before is wonderful. When you elevate a relationship to such a high level, no one can possibly live up to the expectation created by such a lofty, ideal, imagined perfect love.
Avoid Selective Memories
Naturally, every relationship comes with downsides. It is when you have selective memories that problems will arise, and they do.
Some people have such an ideal view of a person from the past that they wind up dating people who look exactly like an ex. They may not be aware of it. Some are so caught in the past that they are looking for a new love to replicate the old one. It goes without saying this rarely works out well.
Even if you did have a great relationship that ended too soon due to the unforeseen, constantly looking for the exact same thing again is impossible. People are like snowflakes. No two are exactly the same. The best love advice anyone can give is to look forward and not look back too often.
Keep Looking Forward
Some spend time with memories that are bad. One bad relationship means all new ones will fail. Instead of moving forward, some live with horrible memories believing that every new relationship will be as awful as the one they remember.
Negative relationships can linger in the same way as new ones. Being caught in the cycle of constantly reliving bad memories means that the future holds nothing for you. When all you see is what is behind, you can never look ahead.
Certainly it is good to remember events. This is one way we learn. But to go over the same things over and over again and not moving forward means condemning yourself to perpetual unhappiness.
Get Psychic Help
One of the best things a Psychic Counselor can do is help you know when to spend time in the present and not the past. The past is over. It is written. Learn from what was, take time to grieve, but at some point you have to prepare for the new.
One great way to do so is to start with a fresh slate. Every new experiences is just that, new. When you balance the past with the present and look ahead, a better life is waiting.
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