Don’t Blame Yourself

It’s about them, not you!

Many of my callers have a similar concern, the person whom they are involved with has become somewhat distant, so they ask me what they are doing wrong. My answer is usually the same, this has nothing to do with them and everything to do with their partner.

When we find that someone in our life for one reason or another pulls away from us, more than not it has to do with their own internal drama. I will give you my own personal experience, I’ve worked as a reader for ten plus years and I too am in a relationship.

On more than one occasion my partner has seen me become distant and like he normally does, asks me “What’s wrong?” My response:  “NOTHING!”  Now that’s not actually the truth, I was at the time very upset with a financial situation that I had and embarrassed so I was not going to share it with him because the last thing I wanted was a lecture!  To which I responded  curtly “NOTHING! Don’t Worry about it!”

After my situation was resolved I was back to my chipper loving self with him. My point is this had nothing to do with my partner why I pulled away, it did however have everything! To do with my own  personal problems. Sometimes we don’t feel it necessary to share everything that we are going through with our partners, and that’s okay!

It does not mean we love them any less, it only means it’s not something that is easy for us to talk about. It could be a topic that is highly sensitive and we need to resolve it on our own, just like I did. Sometimes rather than trying to constantly blame yourself for your partner pulling away, allow them to deal with their own dilemma and believe me when you give them this space it allows them to reflect more clearly.

What is important here is that you do not allow your own ego to surface, simply because they are distant or have withdrawn does not mean that you did anything to cause this. It means there is some sort of turbulence going on in their own private life they may be feeling too embarrassed to share it with you at this point and time, but understand when they are ready they will.

They may be feeling scared and helpless and need to reflect on how they can resolve the issue.  By giving them support and allowing them space this will do more good than you know, it in fact will allow your bond to strengthen.

I’m here for all of you, please feel free to call me.

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