Dear Max: My Girlfriend wants a 3-way! Should I say yes?

Each week Master Psychic Maxwell B Rossada answers your questions about Love & Relationships. If you have a question, you can Ask Max and you might find your answers in an upcoming post!

Will adding a 3rd person in bed destroy the relationship?

Dear Max: “My girlfriend told me she wants to try having a 3-way with another woman. I am excited and scared at the same time. Is this a good idea?”

Signed, The Third Wheel?

Dear “Third Wheel”: Just about any guy reading this is asking “what’s his problem? Say yes! For the sake of all men everywhere, say YES!!!” However, your question indicates a wisdom not normally found in twenty-four year old men. What seems like a simple act of sexual exploration is in fact the introduction of an unknown element into the relationship with your girlfriend.

So what you’re really asking me is, “can my relationship withstand having a 3-way?” It is reasonable to be concerned that even though its her idea, she could end up jealous and resentful that you had sex with another woman. After-all, emotions can get all wonkey-willy when love and sex are involved.

Well, here’s the thing.. it’s not your girlfriend who is going to end up with regrets… its  you. I think you already know this, somewhere deep down, but your girlfriend has feelings for other women. Strong feelings, and this would not be the first time she’s slept with another woman. Although you would be looking at this event as a one-time “fling”, your girlfriend is looking to develop a more long-term relationship with this 3rd person. In fact, she already has someone in mind.

My Advice: If this isn’t something you want, and I don’t think it is, you need to tell her now. Its possible the two of you will come to a solution that pleases both of you… but right now it looks like the best path might be making a split now. Sorry for the bad news.

Should I dump my cheating boyfriend, or marry him?

Dear Max: “I have been with my boyfriend for nearly 3 years. I don’t think he’s ever going to propose marriage… in fact, I think he might be cheating on me. Is it time to dump him before he dumps me?”

Signed, Tired of Waiting

Dear “Tired of Waiting”: Wow! I was able to pickup on your energy immediately. Your frustration and lack of patience is emanating from you like strong perfume! The relationship with your boyfriend started out hot and steamy, and the sex has only gotten better and better. I know you’re still having amazing sex nearly daily, (was that Jefferson Park I’m picking up on?) but more importantly you’re connecting on a level beyond the physical. The two of you have never been closer.

So why do you think he’s cheating on you? Are you picking up on the little signs… the late nights at work, the elusive answers about what he’s been doing? You can imagine him with some other woman, doing things he should only be doing to you? The thing is, this isn’t about him… it’s about your ex… was he a fiance, or husband? I’m not sure on that fact. But what I do know is he cheated on you with just about anything that stood on two legs. He was a horn-dog, and the only decent thing he did was leave you so you could move on!

And my friend, moving on is what you did. You found someone who respects you, shares your desires for the future, and connects with you on every level. Don’t mistake the past for the present… to answer your question, NO your boyfriend is not cheating on you.

My advice: Talk to him about marriage. He loves you so much, but he can be mindless sometimes of how you are feeling about the future. He knows that marriage is part of the plan, he just hasn’t given it enough thought. Once he knows how important it really is to you, he’s going to be much more open to the idea of marriage, and even a willing participant in the planning!